I am worried about Helen Mirren’s tits. Or should that be t*ts, t***, boobs or even bust?
Dame Helen’s revelations about everything from date-rape to snorting cocaine in an illuminating GQ interview (ain’t journalism fun, Piers?) also included the shocker that her “big tits and blonde hair” had been a “disadvantage”.
Cue hasty rewrites from the nationals who all splurged on a story that they had done absolutely nothing to generate. And while the quote was the quite innocuous “tits”, which the Guardian and Times were happy to use, the well-thumbed style-books turned up some interesting variations.
The Metro had “t***”, the Daily Star “t*ts”, the Sun “boobs” and the Daily Telegraph “bust”, a great little word that my mum used to use a lot.
But D-cups off to Express online who not only used the quote in full, but dressed it up as a little display item on the webpage. I was going to post my congratulations/outrage but sadly got the ‘no comments’ logo (below). Oh well, when you’re still the ‘World’s Greatest Newspaper’ who needs readers’ comments?